Finding Community with Women in Music
Over the past 4 months I’ve found music as an emotional outlet in my life for the first time.
The night of injury :(
I always viewed music that way, but I never truly felt the relief it can bring until I tore my ACL, meniscus and fractured my tibia in November. Music (with the help of the Women of Delta (WOD), a subsection of BDMC dedicated to women in music) helped me cope.
The night I was injured was supposed to be my first time playing guitar at a live show, a WOD set for WIUX’s Pledge Drive.
I’ve always sang for fun and started playing guitar casually my senior year of high school. I wanted to learn some chords to accompany myself while singing songs in my dorm, and I had no intention of ever playing in front of anyone.
In the aftermath of my injury I felt myself losing pieces of myself. I went through two surgeries and countless hours of physical therapy. The injury forced me to stop being active. I was in a lot of pain and had little independence.
Almost out of necessity I started playing the piano more often. I found myself growing as a musician. More importantly, I found myself gaining a new sense of power.
I needed help with almost everything, but in my moments with music I didn’t need anybody.
I sang sad songs loud and often not caring how I sounded. I did it for the cathartic feeling it gave me. My moments of sadness in recovery have been met with some amazing moments of joy, many thanks to music.
After the WOD show in November was cancelled, I was disappointed because I finally felt brave enough to share my musicianship with the world. How perfect that I had two close friends feeling the same way? Individually we’re beginners, but that has made the experience of playing together so comfortable and wonderful.
Each time we play together as a group, M(AL) the band, we’ve all had to learn new things. Doing it together makes the end product so much more satisfying.
“Maybe it was because we were in a pink room filled with hearts and glitter, but I think I would’ve felt that way with the other Women of Delta no matter where we were. ”
When we recorded our first cover I was already over a month into the injury, and desperate for a new outlet. It was cold and gray and empty in Bloomington. I only left the house for physical therapy. I couldn’t do much else.
I decided that I no longer cared what people thought of our cover or if I was a good musician. I needed to create something for the sake of creating, and I learned that's all that really matters -- not if you’re an expert.
As a woman, I’ve always felt that we are discouraged from participating in different settings when we’re just beginners, especially in a male dominated area.
I was too timid to ask my friends to play with me because they were all advanced, and men. With friends I felt I didn’t have a place, so why would I play when there are so many other more talented people?
Women of Delta gave me a space to feel like I had a seat at the table no matter what. For our Valentine’s day recording I didn’t feel any doubt in myself or like I needed to prove anything. I was comfortable and happy to be playing. Maybe it was because we were in a pink room filled with hearts and glitter, but I think I would’ve felt that way with the other Women of Delta no matter where we were.
The gender imbalance in the music industry might seem puzzling at first but I think we’ve cracked the code. A space for women to be free of that gender imbalance can open up the door for so many women. Even if women are empowered to challenge the gender barrier the barrier still exists.
In a space meant for creativity and fun, it doesn’t always feel worth it to face an uphill climb. I felt so comfortable for years just playing guitar by myself. I was content to share music with no one, because it also meant that I didn’t have to face any judgment or scrutiny. I didn’t realize how much of a difference having a community of musicians could make.
As BDMC inevitably continues to grow over the years, I think the WOD space will become invaluable to the club. Providing a place for women to come together to play, sing, learn and grow will produce more confident and talented musicians to play in all areas of the club.
I hope to see more of my fellow Women of Delta step out of the comfort zones as musicians. The discomfort is fleeting, and the joy is worth it. I feel that the future of music will have more women than we have ever seen before, and it fills my heart with happiness to be a part of it in some small way with the community we have formed.
If you’re reading this as a WOD Squad member, I encourage you to be unapologetic and take up as much space as you want. So many of you already inspire me.
If you’re reading this as a man in BDMC or music anywhere, I’d challenge you to think critically about why there aren’t as many women around you in music and what you can do to change that.
